Yeah, I have been thinking about this. She is a wonderful woman. However, at this stage, she is just point blank refusing IC for herself. She desperately needs it - I'm sure that it would wake her up to certain aspects of her family dynamic, her boisterous nature, her being more dominant to me when she's been subservient to her main friend group and to her sister (being the youngest of 3 siblings). But she just refuses: "I'll be fine."
Be careful with this one - I felt that my W needed IC but the one she chose has just reinforced her beliefs. When I go to my IC it's "what can I do to change this situation". With W it seems like she says "Can you believe what H is doing to me?" I say that because she claims that IC has told her that she's dependent, I'm manipulative and a narcissist (we've never met), and her website (the IC's, that is) is all about empowerment, finding yourself, etc. From the various divorce books (including Divorce Busting) it seems like one of those well-meaning folks who says "Oh, he's hurting you? Get him out of your life!" rather than diving into the deeper issues that plague both.
One of my top regrets is recommending that W go to an IC - she did nothing but steel my W against the marriage.
M(35), W(35), D(4) M-9, T-12 Bomb Drop (D announcement) - May 3, 2019 W moved out Aug 13 House sold Sept 25 Papers signed Nov 15 Divorce finalized Dec 12
