I do wish W would reconsider. I wonder if D has to happen and then she gets to hear about my actions and changes and how I've improved myself. Maybe then she'll wonder what would have happened had she stuck it out and not gone crazy and told everyone.
I keep reminding myself that my goal is to become AMOAFWL. If our Ws choose to leave (or continue to stay away) then their loss. You posted some good physical stats earlier, you have an active social life (GAL!), are gainfully employed, and so on - you'll be a great catch for someone, even if it's not your W. Her loss. And as others have said, you shouldn't be getting into a serious relationship for some time (I hear 1 year or more), during that time W may realize that you weren't the root of all of her problems and look back.
One other thing I have to remind myself of is that, as many bad things as I did, our Ws are betraying us in different ways, too. So, your W is willing to walk, cast you aside, do you really want to be with someone like that? Now, if she finally "snapped" and is able to collaborate on the relationship, address her issues, too, then absolutely. But I have to tell myself that I don't want to go back to my W as-is.
Anyway, you're doing well for YOURSELF, not your W, so you'll end up better off regardless of the outcome.
M(35), W(35), D(4) M-9, T-12 Bomb Drop (D announcement) - May 3, 2019 W moved out Aug 13 House sold Sept 25 Papers signed Nov 15 Divorce finalized Dec 12
