I guess it depends on whether I'm going with the be detached and happy DB route... or go with the stronger tough love DB route for WW.
It's all the DB route.
I am just now seeing where you said your W is living with OM. Yet, you still resist that she is wayward? You had rather believe this has been caused by mental illness, rather than a negative mindset about her H?
No resistance, the title already stated that this is WW
I'm just curious how much tough love should I be applying based on the options I listed.
Is there even a point in confronting her living with OM if she is not disclosing it?
Originally Posted by sandi2
Quote
I guess it depends on whether I'm going with the be detached and happy DB route... or go with the stronger tough love DB route for WW.
It's all the DB route.
I am just now seeing where you said your W is living with OM. Yet, you still resist that she is wayward? You had rather believe this has been caused by mental illness, rather than a negative mindset about her H?
Quote
Been struggling since the interaction several days ago... I think it's due to 2 things...
1. How poorly I handled the interaction... based on feedback from LH and Sandi.
2. How the sitch seems like it has not improved or even regressed from 2 weeks ago.
If the newcomer does something without running it by the board, then we try to point out how he should handle it. That's how you learn. It's not to make you feel worse about your sitch, okay? ...
I appreciate the feedback - keep it coming. Not trying to guilt trip the vets here for constructive feedback :P Just reflecting that I handled it poorly.
Originally Posted by sandi2
... There is something I sense in your posting. You are focused on the reconciliation with your W. This can cause some men to take a WW back too easily and too soon. By that, I mean the H is sooooo focused on just getting his W back, that he doesn't tell her that it's not going to be that simple, and he doesn't tell her what will be required in order to really reconcile. ...
Maybe a bit... I go back and forth, but I think most LBS on here are like this? I think I have cognitive dissonance right now - logically, if I take a step back and look at everything that's happened, it's pretty f*cked up sh*t. I would not tell a friend to stay in this MR.
I'm holding ground on needing to see growth and change, self-reflection, no contact with AP/OM, therapy, etc... I'm just not seeing any progress from her, and the sitch seems to be getting worse since her initial anxiety from moving out / separation.
