I would definitely draft up something and come here and seek advise.
Communication is always confusion. To clarify: If I personally found out my lady was involved with OM, that is the action I would immediately take. Not a recommendation for you.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712