The one thing that really scares the hell out of me is how they can pretend to be ok and yet speak as if they are confused. I think our stitches become master manipulators and can not stop it. They will continue to tell you they Love you, but unsure of the marriage. They will continue to be intimate to the point of total enjoyment, and then tell you they are unsure of the marriage. They will continue to be affectionate and loving, but tell you they are unsure? They will tell you they worry about you as if they have a lot of compassion for you.
They will tell you that you are a great person, someone else can make you happier, and that you are the best person in the world. Then they turn around when you walk out and contact their AP as if it is like taking a drink from the cup next to their night stand.
I think this is cruel punishment that causes long lasting pain which in turn causes marriages to ultimately fail. The BS will eventually give up and hopes of R are then lost and can not be recovered.
I think that the BS who recognizes this and calls it for what it is without being vindictive shows a lot of courage and self-respect. When this happens we lose so much self-respect and fear controls our interactions and we become blind to the truth. It's only when we remove ourselves that we obtain clarity for what it really is and what we really need. This is most important!!!
