Confused and not sure how to proceed

[KristinG]

kb,

Good for you for taking some time to think things through. One mistake that I know I made early on is panic and asking for separation. My ww was just in the early stages of an EA and she didn't even realize it. Had I kept my cool and given her space, my sitch might have turned out very differently. Instead, I insisted that if she has feelings for any other woman, that she needed to find somewhere else to live. This inevitably pushed her straight into the arms of the OW. Her family and all of our friends knew what was happening because of my panic (I didn't expose her except to my closest friends, but it was quite obvious to most). Everything snowballed and the only person she felt understood her was AP. Retrospectively, I should have remained the rock. I should have expressed love and validation, turning my focus on self growth.

I am one year out from separation and I can honestly say that I still make so many mistakes. The vets here are amazing and everyone will support and encourage you even when you slip up. The easy decision would be to cut the rope and walk away. It is much more painful to stay, I'm not going to lie. There will be days when you just don't know if your heart can take anymore. Lean on friends and people here when these days happen.

Hugs