How do I help her become aware of her mess. You would think with exposure, everyone in our small community knowing, and her having to seek another job next year, would have her in an emotional chaos. But she is not, she seems cool as a cucumber and at times singing and happy she is alive.
Well you certainly cannot "help her" become any more aware than that. Based on your posts I'd say she is acutely aware of the mess. Whether it's affecting her or not is hard to say. WAS's are masters of "acting as if". She is very likely in extreme turmoil inside even though she's acting calm, cool and collected on the outside.
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My fear is that she has a plan and I am not included in that plan.
I guarantee you that is the case. She has a plan for sure. And you are not part of it. If you can effectively remove all pressure then she may or may not follow through with whatever it is. But right now you're still putting a lot of pressure on her with all the R talks and such (3 questions? Pressure.)
