Do not move out, just don't. There is no victory in retreat. I cannot imagine a scenario where you moving out would be the right thing to do.
I am sure that she is right when she says she feels the pressure from you, so you have to back off, stay out of her hair, stop snooping (I know, easier said than done), and get on with improving you. Back off, relieve the pressure, ask her no questions and she'll tell you no lies. It is hard to believe, but the reality is that the affair drug is as powerful as cocaine or heroin. So for all intents and purposes, your wife is a drug addict. And I am not using the term as a figure of speech.
That being said, thou should not be a dick either. Let her sort herself out on her own timeline, but do not be a shoulder to cry on for her beau. Let her wallow in her own mess and let her clean it up. The trick is that she has to become aware of the mess, of the fact that she created the mess and that it is her job to clean up the mess. If she fails to realize either of these 3 points, she will cycle again.
You cannot do anything to speed up the process, but you sure as hell can do a lot to prolong it.
