Yes, that was a misunderstanding, because I thought you had said it out loud. Nonetheless, you were thinking it - and living it. Pretend you are in a fish bowl and H can drive by at any time of the day or night. Are you moping around that house? Thinking negative thoughts? Feeling misunderstood? Hopefully not, because that would be more of the same, wouldn't it? Or...are you busy? Starting new hobbies? Laughing? Getting ON with your new life? That, baby, is DBing.
Nitaf, I have a request. I want you to put those goals that revolve around H into a closet somewhere. They can come out later. Right now, come up with some goals that don't include 'him' or 'H' or any of that sort of thing. Just Nitaf, and maybe son. Okay?
Then, when those are done, I want you to come up with a boundary on the visitation time for your son. If there is really no such thing as a legal SA agreement, I'm sure you can find some lawyer or mediator out there who would sit down with you and draft an agreement. But if not, sit your H down and do one anyway - legal or not. Sign it. Enforce it. For your son, as well as yourself.
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
