Glad you saw those posts. Which posts haven't you saw that might speak volumes to you??? This is a rhetorical question.
This is why it is extremely important to act on logic and not emotions. That is why it is important to take as much time as needed to make important decisions. But if you wait too long, you might miss a critical action that needed to be taken immediately.
You have two things going for you. One, you have a whole team of people here to support you. Two, you can do the work to understand the process better than W and be well prepared to response to her behavior with methods that have higher probability of working than if you we not here.
I wish you well during this most difficult time of your life. Just remember that you will come out the other end of this process as a whole new, better you.
R2C, I really appreciate your help as well as everyone else here that have chimed in to help out a complete stranger. I'm blown away that you would check up on me, my posts, and my whole sitch. There is good in this world, and for that I am grateful.
Just want to journal a bit...
I had just got back from one of my friends re-opening of her salon. It was nice, good food and a nice guided meditation of gratitude and self worth. At home, the W and S were lounging in front of the TV. The ambiance was nice- we like to keep it a bit dark with a few lamps on. I kissed my boy and said hi to the W. She mentioned there being some snacks that she made, I ate a little and hopped in the shower. It was almost 9pm which is right around our S bedtime, so we put him to bed and both of us headed to the MBR. She did her thing, I did mine. Not much talking as usual. I noticed the last couple nights before she goes to bed that she's texting someone- Im pretty sure it's the OW, probably wishing her goodnight. I say this because thats what I found in the text messages that uncovered her A. Anyway- nothing new except she's doing it in plain sight now. She's not hiding things anymore- maybe she figures,"Oh well he knows and I don't really care anymore." I find it disrespectful.
She falls asleep, and no longer wishes me a goodnight anymore. I'm getting used to it. The goodnight hugs and kisses faded away about a month and a half ago. Sometimes Ill say goodnight if I feel like it, tonight I didn't.
While i'm getting all my legal stuff in order- finding out about my rights as a father, parenting schedule, etc. I'm going to interact with my W as nicely as possible. I want to be a rock- no more getting excited, showing frustration, etc. Im going to keep it cool as a cucumber like I did when she was freaking out about me moving her stuff out into the guestroom. i also want to be the one leading the energy in the room. I notice when i'm nice- she's nice. I guess being nice is working- at least it's showing our son that mommy and daddy are happy so he feels some comfort. I'm going to keep doing that even though Sandi recommends keeping conversation short. I'm not going to try to hold on to the W through conversing, but if it makes my son more comfortable i'm going to play it cool and maintain some sort of normalcy in the house for my son's sake.
About splitting from this rental home- i'm going to take my time with this like you all suggested. Again making sure all my ducks are inline before I make any decisions. With my W being as disrespectful as she is, I am leaning towards cutting the rope. I just have to be sure im doing it right from a legal standpoint.
