Part of the major reason he left is because I made him feel unloved and unvalued.
How strongly do you believe the above statement?
I feel like you are struggling to reconcile 2 DB core tenets which are in conflict with you:
1. Loving detachment 2. 180 on your H feeling unloved and uncared for
And then you are trying to deal with all of this in the context of an upcoming court date.
It's easy to read all kinds of interpretations in text exchanges. On the first reading, I thought you two were sharing feelings and it was touching. On the second reading, I thought your H was holding back and possibly trying to employ validation himself.
My third reading is that your H is an emotional mess himself, and you are being tossed around a little bit by his emotions (see: dreams of his father). He sounds very distant sometimes, then gets emotional with you. Detachment is important because it helps disentangle your emotions from his - he can tend to his own emotional garden while you tend to yours. I would guess you both are feeling fragile right now.
Ultimately, I hope that you can let go of your MR expectations right now. I think when our situations hit emotional peaks (whether that is BD, or filing for D, or court dates, etc.), it becomes very difficult to sort out what is happening. Once things settle, it can become clearer. It sounds a bit like you are trying to deal with both your emotions and his at the same time.
