I am not going to file any paperwork, but I will keep talking about splitting finances etc to keep her thinking she has actually been dropped by me.
I wouldn't keep talking about it. This is what I want LBH's to understand. The more you keep reminding your W about something........the less she takes you seriously. Say it once, without followup actions.........you might get away with it that time, but say it twice without any followup action........and it's useless. My suggestion, if you've told her you are dropping her, is to have your actions match your words. I want to caution you about saying catchphrases with your W, until you have a little more time and DB under your belt.
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I also think she wants to be "happy" and doesn't feel there are any other moves to make to accomplish that goal.
That's one of those common symptoms that seem to be found in WAW/WW/MLCW. They are desperate to feel happiness, and remaining with the H just doesn't seem to be the right answer for her. When I finally made the decision to do the right thing...........I cried like someone had died. When I told OM it was over, I cried even worse. I saw him as my last chance at happiness. See how twisted that mindset becomes? For a good while, I could get no higher than just think about being "willing" to work on my MR. I had to get willing to get to the point of willingness.......if you know what I mean. That was a very difficult task for me. I saw staying in my M as a prison sentence.
Can you describe the dynamics of your MR, before you knew something wasn't right? Who set the tone in the R? Who called the shots? Why did the sex fade away? Why did you wait so long to approach her? Just give us something to help us see what it was like being M to each other. When you read that first page of my WW threads, did it sound as if I was writing about your W?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
