Divorce because I betrayed her trust - PART 5

[DaB35]

Nice point, AS, thanks.

Like I say we are not trading insults or being horrible to one another. I'm certainly not bad mouthing her to all and sundry (no idea what she's saying though, but I've decided not to worry about that anymore). I am saying that I'm sad she wanted to end it so quickly and didn't want to at least try.

I've told some of my family that I am upset she shamed me by telling practically everyone we both know near where we live what I did in varying degrees of detail, from just saying "he cheated on me" to full blown showing them screenshots of my online activity plus screenshots of the online chats.

However, my IC has said that now the activity is out, there is no more shame since there's nothing for me to be secretive about. It has been liberating certainly in a weird way. Made it easier to move away from that stuff. She said she didn't believe I could do it cold turkey, but I did.

I'm definitely not the cause of everything bad in her life. She is such an emotional person - sometimes I found her quite difficult at times. Her upbringing and family dynamic has something to do with it too. We were way too opposite in those respects: she was extremely heart-on-sleeve, emotionally reactive, whereas I was introverted and logical and I never have arguments with my sister - we see eye to eye on basically everything.
I'm addressing why I couldn't be vulnerable to her and open up - a real shame I couldn't. But we were so well matched in so many other respects. That is why my sister feels so sad; she couldn't see why W wouldn't weigh up everything and see that it was worth fighting for.

If she does bring anything up, I can at least tell her why I felt I couldn't speak out as I've discussed that now in IC.