Divorce because I betrayed her trust - PART 5

[DaB35]

GAL for today was gym (including a rather brutal cycling class lol), clear out wardrobe, clean parents' house, bit of work, reading, YouTube session listening to music and analyses/critiques of certain songs (well, I find it interesting!) and relaxing TV this evening. Not a bad day really, just got on with stuff.

I still find mornings the hardest. Night time is easy; I read or watch TV, do some deep breathing exercises, and then fall asleep. Fine. During the day is ok as I'm now busying myself more often and am used to it. Mornings are hard as I wake up and W still pops into my head. I think about her but I don't feel intense pain or loss. I miss her, but the intensity and pain of that has faded slightly.

It's strange. I feel like the last 8 years were a dream and I am not married and still single and living at my parents. Then I remember that I a wonderful connection with a brilliant woman for 8 years and she was everything to me. Now she hardly speaks to me. Her family and friends have literally ignored me for 6 months.

Just a thought to cast out here:
My regret was that I moved out. She asked for space and I gave it to her. I should have stayed and talked, but then at the time I was unaware of this site/forum so would not have had a clue how to deal with everything. I wouldn't be validating or have analysed myself enough in IC.

I've said before that it appears we have both distanced ourselves from each other, rather than just her ordering me out the house and I'm detached physically from her. She is WAW and I am LBH but I was also WH to a degree.
I wonder if I need to be concerned about doing anything more than simply GAL and improving my own self-esteem (much higher now); should I continue to not reach out to W unless I absolutely need to?

I have no idea if she is missing me. I guess I'm just asking for re-assurance that everything I've done up to now has been right. I think the D will go through. She has not spoken about R or our MR at all, for months now. She has seemingly switched off her love for me within a matter of days, but I can't see how anyone can do that when we've been through so much happiness together.

I will keep enjoying my picnic...