So I guess my assumption that things seemed calmer were rather foolish.
Wife returned this evening to see sick daughter6 and bathed her,
While in the bathroom I caved in and scooped on her phone, only opened 1 stream of messages with new best friend, Wife apologising for being in tears in front of everyone last night,
A stream of earlier messages really bad mouthing me, saying how I always change approach, how controlling I was, How they couldn't believe they hard to deal with these #####'s Stating she didn't buy any of my b.s. about returning the key, how it was all about control.
Notifying friend that domestic abuse support group was now in place along with legal advice. How little I'd been doing at work this week
After the bath she raised work and her concern about number of orders we had, I validated " you feel anxious that we are falling behind?" She said yes, we need to get on it.
I made some suggestions for how we could resolve it this week.
She said she had felt like she had been working for me this week I replied I'm sorry you feel that way, I didn't know you felt that way.
This seemed to anger her, so I left the room.
A little later she raised Christmas and how she was not going to play happy families and pretend nothing was wrong, that this was in no way a happy family that there was no way she was going to cook for me or have lunch at mine, She then suggested having Xmas lunch out somewhere neutral.
I said that could be a good idea, that I had written some ideas and proposals down and would send to her ( haven't been able to today as on sick duty all day)
She said she would look at it but wanted to wait until she had been to her domestic violence support group. She then said I don't believe anything you say anyway, you always change tact and say the right things as soon as things get difficult and it's all an act.
I started to validate, got as far as "You feel that ..." and she stormed off past me back to see daughter.
Didn't raise it again , confirmed details for kids tmrw , I thanked her for coming over and she left.
All really awkward.
Have to communicate tomorrow about work and daughter, Do I just continue validating when I get the chance, it's coming off as fake right now I think, She's got all her walls and emotional abuser radar in full effect at the moment.
