Well I wouldn’t assume anything about either drugs or mental illness. It’s amazing what we sometimes end up finding out about our spouses.
Because of the grandiosity of your H telling his work what he did, I’d be very worried about other irrational behavior financially. You need to protect yourself financially. Run a credit check and make sure he hasn’t taken out loans or credit cards in your name or that you might end up responsible for. Get an order for temporary support if you don’t already have one. Start taking steps to make yourself and your child financially safe even if H becomes a total deadbeat. You may not be able to count on his financial support in the future so make a plan for self sufficiency.
This is always a great time for self-improvement - to make needed changes, become braver and dream big. BUT - this didn’t happen because of your flaws or your postpartum depression. This is about him and his issues.
I know it’s really hard with a baby but living your best life, having fun and doing interesting things, is the best path forward. It makes you more interesting to him AND will put you in a good place even if he doesn’t come back.
