She runs a daycare/learning center out of the house. It is licensed specifically for this setup, very difficult to move unfortunately.
Okay, gotcha. I'm a little surprised she left, unless she is dealing with burnout and just wants to escape the whole building that contains issues. That would include her H, and whatever issues are in the MR. IDK about her relationship with S11, but working with toddlers every day..........I'm wondering if she feels overloaded or burned out to the point S11 doesn't get much one on one at the end of the day with his mom. I'm just throwing thoughts at you. If you see something familiar, let me know. I remember feeling a great need to escape everything. I even wanted to leave my town and start a new life.
When I first joined the board back in 2007, I posted in the MLC forum. I was suffering with a lot of depression, other health issues, and we had an adult child with a life threatening disease that had taken a huge emotional toll on me. I started playing games on the Internet, as way of getting my mind off my real world. Big Mistake!! To cut to the chase, I had an EA with OM. When I came to the board, I was at the point that I needed someone to talk to me. I had not shared my secret with anyone, and frankly, I was a mess when I showed up on MWD's board.
It took some time to get my head clear and get my heart right......but I was here reading & posting every single night until I couldn't keep my eyes open. I would read posts from other LBS's giving advice from the viewpoint of a WAW or MLCW. I didn't want to appear as if I was going against Michele's advice in her books. I back up what she says about a WAW & MLC 100% (maybe 99% ). However, I knew when there was a wayward wife in the marriage.........the H would need to be somewhat tougher than the general advice in DR for the WAW. I'm not implying he should be a jerk, or anything along those lines. If you've read my threads about the mindset of the WW, then I think you'll see what I mean.
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She does not ever go out as a family and really has been less than interested in S11, but for the bare minimum. She is adopted and our MC believes there issues stemming from locating her birth mother and being rejected by her (again) when she reached out to make contact. I am an issue, for sure, but this is really about her issues/depression.
Can you share with us how she would respond to your issues?
I cannot imagine the emotional pain she suffered, due to the adoption/rejection. It could be the thing that tips the scales and she is going to do something to escape that pain. I'm not a therapist. This is just me talking here. IMHO, when a person is suffering from MLC , those issues stem from something other than her MR. Something has happened that triggers this pain & confusion. She has anger & fear that is tied to something apart from her MR. Her pain is not isolated to her MR. Her H and family experiences the fallout of her emotional crisis, but there is something else that is forcing her to deal with her reality. Rejection, abandonment, loss of a loved one, etc., carries a lot of fear, hurt, anger, and grief with it. If she can't cope with her reality, her loved ones will suffer the results of her journey of MLC.
Now the wayward W is all about deep resentment & lack of respect that is all tied to her H. As a WW, she'll blame him for all her unhappiness b/c she believes he is responsible! Like I said previously, some of the outward symptoms may resemble MLC. However, I see differences in the sources of the MLCW's pain..........and the WW's pain. For the WW, it's all about her H and how she's been unhappy for years, yada, yada. Everything is his fault. She becomes consumed with a negative mindset about the man she married. She looses respect for him as a man, and it affects her desire. This eventually leads to rebellion. At first, it may be small signs of coldness, disrespect and rebellion against her H/MR. But once she is confronted by him.......or she drops the divorce bomb.........then you can bet she has a hidden agenda, and she is no longer a team player in that relationship. Her morals falls by the wayside. Selfishness rules her direction. Don't forget it. If she can't benefit emotionally, physically, or financially........she's not interested. The heart of a WW is cold and hard! The only man she respects is one that is stronger than she is, and one who doesn't tolerate her b.s.
Google the word "wayward", and it describes the WW perfectly.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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