I've done some pros and cons about exposure to FIL. Ultimately, I think it will cause harm- more heartbreak, confusion, resentment etc to her family, all of whom I love. I don't want to hurt them. I also think the W will resent me even more, pushing me even further. Now if they confront me about anything, I would be forced to show them the truth. However, I will not be the one to bring it up.
This is ultimately the route I went with not exposing on her side. Some websites suggest extreme exposure such as her family, friends, co-workers. AP is from work actually, but in my mind, I can chase away 1 person, but I can't chase away everyone. Ultimately, my WW needs to come to a point realizing the MR is what she actually wants, and if not, then so be it. If it doesn't work out between us, then those are her friends and family for rest of her life.
I did react early on, and texted a screenshot of some text to her parents. I actually had her parents come pick her up the night I found out to prevent escalation on my part. I have not been in contact since, and left out all the details after.
Originally Posted by kbuenob
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Sounds like you have exposed to your family. What about hers? Have you researched all the pros and con's of this? Do you understand MWD stance on exposure?
Good to hear from you R2C. Yes, I have told my some of my family. They have been my support system through all of this (besides you all). They love both me and my W and do not have any ill feelings towards her, no matter the outcome. ...
I was surprised at how my family reacted. You would think they would immediately disown them WW upon hearing the news, but none did that upon hearing the news and all suggest not acting out of emotion. My only guess is that they are more experienced in life and relationships, and this is more common than I thought.
