So he was here, and I focused on D4 for the most part. H was warm, and also pensive or something. Caught him watching me a couple of times. After D4 went to bed, absolutely no mention of Tuesday’s court date. SO WEIRD. We talked a bit about D4, and then as he was getting up to leave H asked, “are you eating enough? You look really skinny.” He may be right, but it was a weird thing for him to say. He was fishing for something, but I was really surprised and maybe a bit defensive, and just said “am I? Weird, I’ll take it as a compliment!” and he laughed. After he left though, I felt like I’d maybe missed an opportunity. He was trying to check on me, for whatever reason. So I texted him and braced for another BD. I would really love to hear people’s thoughts on this exchange:
Me: How come you asked me that, about eating enough? I’m not offended, but it came out a little critical sounding.
H:You look thin. Just a little concerned I guess. Not critical at all
Me: ok, thank you for clarifying that.
H: sure
Me: I’m sure my appetite is not at it’s normal level right now, but I hadn’t really noticed it I guess. I’m pretty stressed and really emotional.
H: Totally understand that.
Me: I’m not trying to put that on you. I just thought since you asked that I’d share
H: I get it. Don’t feel like you put anything on me. I know sh** is rough
Me: It really is. Lots to say but I won’t even try to text it, haha. Goodnight
H: I’m sorry that you’re hurting
Me: Thank you. I try so hard to hold so much in around you, because I want to respect your boundaries. It’s hard
H: I can tell, and thank you. I know
Me: When you are telling me things, like about your dad, and I see you feeling sad or emotional, I just want to comfort you and be there for you so much
H: I know and I appreciate that thought. It just comes out of me without control. I was trying to hold it back. But thanks for listening
