Hi thesane1. Thanks for giving me advice on how to handle this very ruff sitch.It has taken everything that I have not to go and punch the woman in here face! It is taking a lot of restraint because I have her wk address and home address! He doesn't know and still maintains that it is just a friend that he met while taking a class! I am glad that you got to punch Ow in the face(atleast somebody did!) I know not nice but true. I haven't asked him about OW in about 3 wks. Although we have been separated for 5 mos and counting, I thought I was DBing, but I actually i wasn't. I was still questioning him about Ow and playing mind games. I think this is my 1st attempt to really DB. I am going dark now. I have been dark for 2 wks.
I was a WAW for about atleast 5 mos last year. I had an EA from about 08-03 thru 11-03. My H doesn't know but speculates, but my C said do not confirm. I think that me withdrawing , along with my H always being the more affectionate one , and usually aiming to please me added to his alleged A. The question that i have is how do you know when to pull away when when you were never really the affectionate 1. The reason that I decided to go dark is because when he left, I begged and pleaded off and on for 4 mos. I don't want him to perceive this as I knew she didn't want me. I guess at this point he uses any excuse to dilly dally w/Ow. He tries to justify with any dumb excuse. It is always a different excuse and none of them make any sense.
I get so discouraged every time he says that he is never coming back home! He claims to not trust me, even though he had a PA about 1.5 years ago. It was proven and confirmed! I think that is another excuse to continue EA possible PA w/OW!
My son's B-Ball team had a cookout @ our home yesterday(my H suggestion). We had a really good time. My H and I worked like a real team. At one point the head coach asked H, how long you been married? H answered and included anniversary date! We were very pleasant and kind to one and other. By the way no one there knows that we are separated. At one point he snapped at me and came out on the deck and apolgized 2x. It is so funny to me now that we know what we were doing wrong and can address the issues that he decides to leave the M. We can have such an amazing R now that we know what were doing wrong. I am so much more enlightened about R's now. Much more than H , but we both kinda know where we failed each other. It is a shame that he doesn't realize that we are at a point right now where we can turn this crisis into opportunity, come thorugh it and have a beautiful R.
How long were you and H separated? What do you think made h want to give them M another try. I sometimes wonder what would make my H want to try this again after so much pain? Pain on both of our parts!
I have to get better at setting goals. I will go over goal setting in DR.
