Been writing my proposals today. Ready to send in the morning
This post is more of a journal update. Kids are spending the week with me. Wife dropped them off this morning, again no eye contact and refrained from entering property in any way she could while handing over bags.
I kept all focus and conversation on the kids,
Weirdly while out walking with the kids saw my wife in the distance walking on the beach with new friend. Could see they were having a close chat and saw friend lean over and hug her.
Gave me strange emotions, just missed her really and hurt to see her in pain. Didn't point her out to kids
Had a good day with the kids, went to cinema, got take out. But d6 has been vomiting all evening wanted to speak to mum, so I messaged wife about a vid call
Her ok, give me 5 mins
( admit this made me suspicious)
Called, could see my wife was at someone's place and had been drinking, she couldn't see me but I could see screen and could see she was emotional speaking to daughter.
She offered to come over if d6 was sick again, and to let her know if sick again,
I reassured her not to worry, I had it covered and would keep her posted
So 30mins later I update that d6 is still vomiting every 10 -20 mins but not to worry, had her in the bath, that was at 8pm
No response until 9.30 pm
Her: give Her a cuddle for me.
Me: will do, just putting her back to bed, will let you know if anything changes.
Don't know why any of this matters, maybe it's just the reality of the situation, I'm obviously still deeply attached, feel jealous and suspicious about things like "give me 5 mins" or the gaps in response.
I know if she was with someone it's completely out of my control.
Are those feelings natural or evidence I am controlling
