Glad you went out for dinner with your wife and had a good evening. Applause!
Originally Posted by JR45
I’ve never truly understood or appreciated the concept of validation until tonight. It’s like a magic spell that can briefly put you on the same wavelength; and even initiate a level of emotional intimacy, with someone who so recently hated you. It’s amazing.
Rock on.
Originally Posted by JR45
She’s been resentful of me because the kids praise every little thing I do for them but she gets nothing for all she does. I told her I’m not going to stop going out of my way to spend more quality time with the kids, even if it makes her resentful of me., I understand where she’s coming from and she’s right. The bar my kids have set for me is very low compared to hers, but it’s my job to raise that bar to get closer to her level. The kids should be just as upset with me if I miss an event as they would be with her.
but to disregard her feelings so soon after the discussion...Did I just ruin a potential perfect situation? That’s really the only “change “ that I talked about and only because she kept digging at it.
Validating her feelings doesn't require agreeing or changing anything. If she point blank asked you to spend less time with the kids, it's perfectly okay to say "No, I like spending time with my kids." You may have veered off course a little taking ownership of how upset the kids are at her vs. you.
