As far as I know, my wife doesn't have an A ... I've thought about it, but have no reason to believe so, she just seems to be a WAW. However, I feel just like you do. I wonder if I would feel even worse if I knew there was an A, but no I feel the same way, I wonder what happened to that woman I met as a teenager. We practically grew up together, the mother of my 4 children. We used to be friends. Now she tells me she doesn't love me, and that she doesn't want to love me.
Hang in there, listen to the people here. I've never seen a group of people so capable of advising others in such terrible situation. It's easy for another person to say stay calm, but what other choice is there? Better to get help and try to follow advise of people that have been there, than for us to go at it alone.
I'd love for my wife to turn around and say "Let's give it a try", but that's not happening, I can't change her. I have to accept that, I can only change myself and I wish we could go back if that happens even after a D. If not, and I'm a better person, I win too.
Take it easy, keep posting here, but listen to the advise you're being given and try to follow it as much as you can. I'm trying too, even if it's counter intuitive to what *I* want to do. What I want to do, hasn't worked ... AT ALL.
