Married 20 years, dated 9 years (so 29 years together). 4 girls 18, 15, 13 & 5. W is WAW, at BD told me she hasn't loved me for 6 years, I've felt her distant for the last 2+ years. Didn't want counseling, didn't want to do anything for R, we're heading towards D. Mediation in a week and a half, court date Dec 12. She's still home, but wants to move out.
Currently W is in NYC, some friends (or a friend) from work bought her a ticket and she's been gone from Thursday to Monday. She's been texting quite a bit, mostly about kids. No arguments so far ...
Today I got a text from her at 1AM, she sent some heart emojis for D5 and said good morning (!?). I took D15 to a retreat, she video called her to wish her well. W saw that my D had a letter, which I wrote for her to read at the retreat. She then texts me;
W: "I noticed D15 had a letter from you. I asked you if they were collecting some and you said no. I would have liked to have sent her one.[ No need to talk about this. Just wanted you to know" (no need to talk about this, just wants to complain and that's it ... geez)
Didn't know how to "validate" this, because it was completely off. At this retreat letters are not a thing, doesn't mean you can't just do one yourself. I replied; "Thanks for letting me know. No, they're not doing letters, sent you the list of stuff they needed the other day. That's no a thing in these retreats. Just wrote her a letter of encouragement this morning"
No more discussions about that. Again, she's in that mode of looking to pick a fight / complain about anything. I can't believe she noticed my daugther had a piece of paper over facetime and she decided to complain about this (!!)
I sent her some pictures of D15, she commented how beautiful she looked and that's been it. I'm trying to validate as much as possible whenever there's a chance in the texts that she's been sending. I will say she's been sending more than usual when she's away, probably missing the kids a lot.
