Hi Pam, I set boundaries w/him 2wks ago. I should have checked w/u veterans 1st.
1.When you want to visit w/S take him to MIL's(where he is @ present)
2.No more washing your clothes here, you don't want to live here go to laundramat.
3.No more coming in and out while I am @ work
4.No more sleeping in my bed when I am not home.
5.No more ML because it is not leading us to reconciliation.
6. Get S every other weekend.
He has been gone 5 mos and has never volunteered to have S for weekend. He thinks I have nothing better to do than entertain S on weekends while he is footloose and fancy! I really began to feel like he thinks it is ok to be apart-time dad and H. Whenever I say something against the grain he wants a D. He says we can go to a L 2gether. I always respond by saying you do what is best for your family! He has gotten so used to me being a push over. He thinks that because I want the M, he can treat me anyway that he wishes. Sometimes his words to me are downright disrespectful. Now that I think about it, they were even disrespectful while he was home(sometimes) I don't think that I knew I was worthy of Love or Respect until he left. I felt in debt to him because of my traumatic past. He allowed me to feel that way by saying things like, I have spent have of my life trying to take care of you and make you happy. Is that my fault or was that his choice? I choose and chose to do it for him but w/healthy boundaries.
