I was frustrated at first because one of the big issues I’ve had with her is that her work has been a priority over me for a while now, but it’s gotten to the point where she’s putting it before the kids now too. I didn’t have expectations but she was on her phone and didn’t even acknowledge my presence until an hour and a half after I got home.
She’s been resentful of me because the kids praise every little thing I do for them but she gets nothing for all she does. The only feedback she gets is if she fails to do something; she feels crucified. Example: she has to travel for work and will miss D9’s Xmas program. D9 was devastated and W felt guilty. I told her I’m not going to stop going out of my way to spend more quality time with the kids, even if it makes her resentful of me. I understand where she’s coming from and she’s right. The bar my kids have set for me is very low compared to hers, but it’s my job to raise that bar to get closer to her level. The kids should be just as upset with me if I miss an event as they would be with her. That’s really the only “change “ that I talked about and only because she kept digging at it.
She did mention that S7 asked her the other night if she’s noticed that I’m a happier person lately. She said yes. Then he said that I’m a lot more fun to be around. This was another trigger of resentment with her. So clearly my kids are picking up on my changes as is she. They love it and I’m not going to stop what I’m doing (180’s) even if it makes her more resentful of me.
