https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2045336#Post2045336 Our marriage has problems outside of your infidelity. Your choice of response to those problems is to make them WORSE by introducing an interloper to cause a great deal of stress and damage to your reputation, my commitment, and your daughter's well being. Marital problems need to be met with solutions - not lies and cheating.
"Here is what I need in my marriage___________, ___________, _____________, and________________. If you can't respect that then I have decided that I can't be married to you."
The blanks are the non-negotiable issues. "I won't share you with another man."Joint decisions on how we spend our money."
You then need ways to verify these issues. Transparency: access to each others e-mail, FB, cell phone etc. Weekly discussions about your finances. Find solutions that work for you two.
You steer clear of the emotions by thinking thru the issues. Calm, cool and collected. Lead on brother.
"I'm really sorry you feel that way. I certainly hear you, and that this is what you want. It's not what I want, however, and I think we owe it to our kids to not just cut and run here because one of us suddenly wants out of the marriage."
