Thanks Nik, I am so strong on the outside. People tend to think that I can get through anything. It is hard for me to ask for support because I have always been the rock! I tend not to but my burdens on my siblings. They have been through enuff! I want to be vulnerable and know that I am not going to be hurt or taken advantage of. I have never had or allowed myself the chance to feel this way. I am a hurt little girl inside that needs reassurance and love. It is allmost like having a split personality. I have shared more w/u guys than I have w/folks that see me everyday. The people that see me everyday think I am this wonderful , smart, happy, and confidant woman. I probably am but I don't feel it always, but I am learning. I feel safe w/u guys. Thanks so much for letting me run off @ the mouth!
One of H's complaints is that I would never let him all the way in emotionally. Although he has gone through the traumatic events w/me, he can never understand exactly how defensive and scared it has made me.
