He hasn’t responded to my settlement update email from Tuesday, but I suppose it didn’t require a response. I was expecting pushback because he’s not getting what he wants immediately. We’ll see how that unfolds.
Something I struggle with is being calm and relaxed in person when there are potentially difficult logistical discussions waiting to be had. I blurt things out, become visibly agitated, struggle to look H in the eye, give short responses, walk away while talking. None of which is conducive to creating a safe environment for him to feel comfortable around me.
This is the negative flip side of my assertive and driven personality. I’m a doer and don’t like to sit on uncomfortable things for too long. I’ve realised this isn’t always considerate of other people’s opinions or feelings. Of course DB principles teach the exact opposite approach, so this is probably my toughest but most necessary lesson to learn. To ask a doer to do nothing is hard! But it’ll help me be more empathetic and less stressed.
I’ve been working on managing my anxiety in these situations by writing down some small talk scripts. Starting with the absolute basics which sounds silly... “Good morning H, how are you today?”, “Have a good day, see you on Thursday”. I tend to lose these niceties when I’m emotionally overwhelmed, so this will be my focus until it becomes second nature.
I’m actually really grateful for this opportunity to know better and do better. Thanks H!
