JD, are you starting to understand why we told you not to move out in the first place? She has ZERO respect for you right now. You can't do ANYTHING right. Keep the key and you are a nasty abuser. Give the key back and you are a scared little boy that's bowing to threats of her hiring a lawyer. YOU NEED TO QUIT TRYING TO PLACATE HER!!!!! You are simply digging yourself deeper into the "disrepect" hole.
Originally Posted by Jdevast
If I'm being honest I was holding onto it as some symbolic thing. It doesn't matter, legally house us still half mine.
This is exactly why it DOES matter. The house is still legally yours, yours to live in, yours to come and go as you please. You've ceded all control to her, and what has it gained you? Nothing at all. You disgust her more than ever.
You are dealing with something you don't understand here. She is a WAS, and you have no experience with dealing with a WAS. That's what we're here for, to guide you through this. But you've got to listen! We can only give you the tools, it's up to you to use them.
My advice- cut all contact with her except coordinating kid visitation. Talk to a lawyer ASAP regarding your rights to move back into the house since you left voluntarily. If you can legally do so, MOVE BACK IN. She'll rant and rave and pitch a fit, but that's no different then what she's doing now. The point of moving back in isn't to anger her, it's to regain your self-respect and perhaps some respect from her (although she will never show it).
Quote
I texted her to let her know key was in the bag on step, that I didn't want to fight or for her to feel unsafe.
Quit buying into her BS. She doesn't feel unsafe, she's trying to block you from access to the house, access that is legally your right.
Quote
Her: I don't trust a word you say, you probably got a key cut, stay away from me. Her: and my friends , stay away from them and don't talk to them about me, make your own friends.
(This is because I had bumped into her friends at the pub , and said hi, hardly anything more)
Me: understood ,I will not speak to any of them, I had only said hi to ------ and did not discuss us.
She is controlling and manipulating you. Don't let her. I wouldn't even reply to this kind of crap. There's a time for validation but sometimes silence is better. I mean really, you're supposed to avoid all mutual friends at all cost? Like run the other way if you see them while you're out somewhere? Give me a break!
Quote
I haven't responded to the last message, not going to I think.
GOOD! More of this!
Quote
But her anger and rage against me seems insurmountable.
It is for now. Time and space is all you can do because she has to sort this stuff out herself.
