Guys i don't know if you missed it in my original post, but i mentioned when i texted a girl in one of my college classes and my wife seen it. It was a dumb thing to do, but I truly didnt do anything with this girl but flirt with her a little. It hurt my W, I feel horrible about it, but that was 5 years ago.
She keeps bringing that up...I think it's a way for her justify what she's doing. the affair. Tonight she said," You made your bed 5 years ago!!" It's liek she's taking the worst thing that i've done in the relationship, and blowing it up to make herself feel better. Any thought on that?
Remember when you took the power back? It was just a couple hours ago. She didn’t expect that and now she grasping at straws. Don’t take the bait. You can already see how ridiculous it is because you’re able to maintain a level head right now. That means the 180’s you’ve been pulling have been for YOU. That’s verification for you right now. At the same time, she’s looking for verification but not finding it where she expected to; you. So now she’s digging deep to find something wrong with you but she’s running out of options. Let her run out.
Thank you guys. Tonight I'm learning that I have the fortitude to stay calm. It's quite empowering. I was always so reactive. Not any more. there will be many more trials to come but I will come out on top.
This exactly. Keep empowering yourself. Get power hungry. It’s ok here because someone has to control the situation. Let it be you.
You couldn’t have played it any better. Seriously...do not initiate any contact for several days. You have her so confused right now because you didn’t react the way she expected. Make her think about that for a while. That will lead her to think about other things and her reality may get altered a bit. Don’t interrupt this process. Remember. She’s a cat.
2 million years of tiger DNA...
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
So I found out that my W is in a full blown with another woman. I'm taking the steps to fully detach and have questions about money.
Not too long ago, we've separated our accounts, and pay our shared bills through a joint account. I'm happy that I made that decision so she has no access to my funds. Since I make more money than her, we've agreed on a set amount of money that we each will contribute to joint account, my share being more than hers.
She has some medical bills that I offered to pay for, because I am her husband and wanted to make sure her bills are taken care of.
HOWEVER
In light of my knowledge of her A, I no longer want to support her, as she has chosen the affair over our family. Honestly, I feel used and taken advantage of. I have no legal responsibility for her bills.
Should I not continue paying for her bills? I was planning on telling her that since she chose the affair over family, I don't want to enable her anymore. Thoughts?
I’m not a moderator but it looks like you keep starting new topics and threads while you still have others active. This gets really confusing for us to help you. Stick with one thread. Hopefully a mod can come by and combine these for you.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I'm not a lawyer but I'm the wife of WAH and did some research. Without a court order you're not responsible for her bills. The only thing I'd worry about is anything that affects your credit or say utilities.
You need to talk to a good lawyer; it'll be money well spent.
THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Divorce is a legal proceeding. You need legal expertise to navigate those water. I say the same thing to LBSs that claim that they can't afford a lawyer that I say to LBSs that claim they can't afford IC:
You can't afford to NOT have a lawyer.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I’m not a moderator but it looks like you keep starting new topics and threads while you still have others active. This gets really confusing for us to help you. Stick with one thread. Hopefully a mod can come by and combine these for you.
I am a moderator and I have merged your threads together.
