Where do I stand?

[hoosjim]

No. And that’s the part I can’t get past. She comes from an extremely religious background, is a genuinely sweet and humble person, and lying and cheating just don’t suit her at all. I have always held my trust because she is fully invested in her faith and this would go against everything she’s ever stood for. But if she has truly fallen out of love with me, and in love with someone else, would she throw away 20+ years of our R and everything it’s stood for just to protect an A with OM?

This was my W to a "t". Very religious upbringing, very devout, heavy on the Catholic guilt and very worried about being the "good girl" and about what others would think. Sandi2 was a bit like this too. Thing is, this can ironically feed the rebellion dynamic in women that leads to waywardism. I had front row seat to this with my W... Alot of it came out and got explored in detail in MC. Bottom line, in MY wife's case it remained a beacon, however faint, and was eventually a significant contributor to her "coming back" to the marriage. But don't for a second think that your religious "good girl" W can't become a WW and have an affair... Sometimes that background, in combo with the right factors, can be a
significant factor in them falling int waywardism and affairs.

Whether or not that's something you can live with and ultimately forgive is for you to decide...but you need to make room in your reality for that possibility, despite your W's good girl background