I think I have formalized my strategy. The fact is that I have no evidence of an A. I suspect it, and have for a while, but without proof, I can’t act on it. I can’t trust my gut because I don’t even know what it’s saying right now. I have to stick to my original mission to win my wife back. Whether there’s an A or not, until I know for sure, that mission remains unchanged. This is where it gets confusing. All logic here says I’m nowhere close to “dating” my wife, but she’s brought it up a couple times. I’m still not sure if that was her switching to “recovery” mode and over-reacting or if she’s actually starting to find me attractive again and really wants to spend time with me. Either way, I have to play this game to have a chance to win. I’m going to ask her out on a “date” (hear me out). Twice this week she’s alluded to a type of “date night”. She’s either trying to throw me off the scent, or she giving me the green light to pursue. I know pursuing is a huge “no-no”. However, there are a couple ways to look at this (I already warned it’s confusing). Best case scenario: I am so far gone in my own head that I imagined her on a rocket ship when she was only on a hot air balloon. Meaning she was never that far gone that she could actually be coming back to me already. Fallout: I’ve wasted all your time (I have to admit that I’d be ok with that). Worst case scenario: She realizes how far she pushed me and that I’m gaining a better sense of what’s going on. She’s now “giving” a little in an attempt to keep me in the dark so she can keep eating her cake. Fallout: TBD
Either way, asking her out isn’t going to be detrimental to me in any way. I can handle the rejection (don’t think it’ll happen but so what if it does?). One on one time might be exactly what I need to get a better reading on her. She’s picked up that I’ve been very distant over the past 24 hours but I can play that off with results of my doctors visit today. (Nothing major; just being 40 I guess). I can play the game with her because I’m in such a better position that I’m now looking out for myself; not us.
Background that I probably should have given a long time ago: She is an expert negotiator and has made her career out of it for a major tech company. I’ve called her out on “her eyes” when she enters work mode and treats me like a supplier. When I see that switch flip, I walk away. Can’t argue against a pro. That’s a boundary I’m going to have to set. Just haven’t read that far ahead yet.
