If I understand correctly, the daycare is yours--you're the one paying for it.
As long as you're not making him use your daycare, setting conditions for its usage doesn't sound controlling. E.g., he can take advantage of your daycare or not take advantage of your daycare.. but if he wants to take advantage of it, then he needs to ensure there are no more than X tardies/absences in a Y calendar period. Alternatively, he agrees to pay a small fee for any absences so you're not the one caught paying them.
I'm on the outside looking in! Just a quick thought.
