I think right now you’re just trying to stop the pain of limbo. You think that getting the answers that you know you are going to D and if she’s in in A is going to stop the pain. It won’t. There may be some relief but you still have to go through the stages of grief.
IMO you just continue to focus on your son, your new job and your 180s and get to the new year. Then when it comes time for the new lease you let her know your not interested in continuing if you are not going to work on the marriage.
