Give yourself a break-- you have been dealing with an incredible amount of emotional work and don't feel badly about letting H take on a bit more of the work at home. Can you schedule yourself a massage or something, or take a long lunch with a friend to get your mind off things? You deserve it! I also have a job that can be really stressful and trying to deal with both work and all the stress of H/180s etc is just a lot.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing