I chose to schedule a time the evenings the children were not here to speak to them . If H chose differently and not to speak to them that was his choice the days he did not spend here . Try to set up the nights you do not have them a time to talk or a quick video . This not only was a benefit to the children but to me . They could speak to me . I knew they were safe and happy . H also would spend the day with them but go out until all hours in the night . I always knew who was watching them but he also knew not to cross the line with a sitter I didn’t know or trust . That’s always been our standard though . I may be the odd one here but I feel you should know who is caring for your children .
I used the phone call or video for the children . He learned very quickly when he would try to get on phone the purpose was to speak to them only . Usually he would get on after I spoke to them Or videoed and I would say have a good night then I would hang up .
I do think though some stiches are different in areas . My H didn’t go too hard with fighting over kids . Deep down he knew my family roots are deep . Also my families pockets compared to his .Financially he knew I would out last him and out lawyer him . He said once I know if I take you to court I will not get near anything I want .
If she brings it up use what steve85 posted . Just you would like sitter to have your number if need be . Leave it at that .
I will put out my input on parenting time . By the second night not being in my home my smaller child would ask to come home . Could never have gone a week on week off .
You asked about self improvement. Get dressed nice . Smell nice . Smile a lot . The more you smile and are kind the more it becomes part of you . Get up earlier and go to sleep earlier . Read others stiches. I learned a lot from just reading on here . The more I got out the better I slept .
I also had nightmares . I noticed if I drank they came on . I was only a once in awhile drinker but had some time on my hands out with friends .
Did you read about love languages ? H was clearly words of affirmation. Easy ! He took kids to do something . I said thank you I appreciate. It got to the point he started thanking me I think for just about anything . I think I may have even put in one of my posts about it .Positivity and happiness are contagious.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is not let her emotions run yours . It’s her rollercoaster . Do not get on .
