She has claimed there is no more communication between them however she expresses feeling sorry for what he is going through with his divorce and being moved from his position. I know this pisses me off when she makes those statements.
Context is important, here, and, when appropriate, you should be listening to her and validating, but... Her agonizing to you about "Poor poor OM" or feeling sorry for him or any dreck like that is not...and i repeat NOT (all caps intended)... a conversation topic you should be entertaining from her. SHE SLEPT WITH THIS DUDE!! WHILE MARRIED TO YOU!! Such conversations are EXTREMELY disrespectful towards your MR and towards you, and, IMHO, they should be cut off as soon as she starts... with extreme prejudice: "You know, W, I understand you are going through a difficult time, but I am not at all interested in hearing about OM's struggles, difficulties, or how sorry you feel for him." Maybe i am off base here and, if so, Sandi or one of the other WW pros can correct me, but pretty sure i recall reading on more than one occasion that, even though you are DB-ing and even though you are in "validation" mode, that you do not need to entertain such discussions.
If and when you two are committed to reconciling the marriage, she has committed to no more OM and no more inappropriate opposite sex relationships of any type, and you two are in counselling, then, and only then, MAYBE it will be okay to explore those subjects... and it may even be necessary. Maybe. But your counselor will be able to best advise/lead you on such matters.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
