22 Years Gone Part 2

[rooskers]

Wow! I got an email to update some information on a financial forum I use to belong to a long time ago and as I was doing that I came across a post I created from the first time my XW cheated on me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I find it funny that she didn't value me back then because I was a stay at home dad and now she left again but this time I had a full time job and worked a lot. The part that really stuck out to me was she didn't feel guilty for what she did. I remember typing this because it was a result of going to a counseling session with her that day and during the session she just hammered me with every weakness or insecurity I had. She used her knowledge of me as a weapon to destroy me in that counseling session and it nearly resulted in me killing myself.

Betrayed and Seeking Advice
01-31-2009, 07:03 PM
Well the economy is in the dumps and so is my life. As with everyone else my portfolio is way down, my house is worth less than what I owe and I am a stay at home dad so I don't have a job. I of course wasn't concerned because retirement is 30+ years away and my "wife" was a nurse manager who made good money and had a stable job.

Little after Christmas I found out my wife doesn't love me, respect me, consider the job I did at home valuable and that she has been having an affair with her married "dream guy" for about a year. We have been doing the counseling but she is not interested in fixing the marriage because she says she is broken and needs to work on herself and it would be years before she could even consider working on the marriage. She does not feel guilty for what she did and is only staying with me because she feels bad that I am financially dependent on her. My daughter is almost 3 and I have taken care of her since she was born and am afraid of losing her.

Here is my situation if I leave and we split up assets then the retirement account would be hit with massive fees, have to be sold at the bottom of the market, and I have no way of paying for any part of the house. With no income and no place to live I would have to move in with my parents who don't really have money either and would have no way of supporting my child. The plan was for me to finish my masters degree when my daughter started preschool which would be next fall.

If I stay here I am in eternal hell because of the complete lack of caring by my exwife about what she did. I can't sleep well and my poor daughter has started getting moody, wetting the bed, and other things she has never had a problem with before. So the question is do I risk destroying myself financially and leave and hope I can still be the main person in my daughters life? Or do I stick it out here until I get my masters degree and get a job and hope the market recovers somewhat?

Never again will I let myself be financially dependent on another person NEVER.