Congratulations RAI! That is great news. Haven’t seen any of your recent posts.
Thanks. I have been off the grid due to so many other obligations. We are a large blended family.
Originally Posted by JujuB
I’m think we are older and have each experienced what we don’t want.
IMHO, this is key. It seems counterintuitive that someone who is D would be a relationship expert, but I think you need to go through a terribly dysfunctional relationship and D to recognize a loving and healthy relationship. My W came up with some great advice for our children: Love your spouse like they are your second spouse.
Originally Posted by JujuB
Like he doesn’t have that need to be right
I am a recovering "right-fighter". I was not extreme about it, but it probably contributed to xW's resentment. It sounds like you found a giving and unselfish person.
Originally Posted by JujuB
I do worry though. Like what if it is just limerace for him? What if he likes me because He likes how I look and likes the excitement of new love and is attracted because of the attention he gets from me who is Also in limerace and then after 3 years starts to feel that way about a new girl that gives him attention? Thats my fears coming through though and something i guess I feel vulnerable about.
It is OK to have those fears after what you have endured. You are vulnerable and trust does not happen instantaneously; it is earned over a long time. My W understands that and goes out of her way to be transparent because she respects my paranoia and PTSD from my previous M. I am certain that with time, those fears will fade away.
And if this turns out to be another illusion (heaven forbid) ...you are not the same JujuB. You have stood on your own two feet for some time now. You have so much more wisdom and knowledge. You also have us. I wish you so much luck in your relationship. (((Hugs)))
