Thank you Kristin! I am trying. H is just all over the place with what he's got going on.
I told my therapist that H was "dumped" by his therapist after one visit, and she said that wasn't good. She said that unusually means the therapist feels like the patient is a treatment liability. (Like the therapist thinks the patient is at risk for causing harm.) This freaks me out. H is still waiting to hear back on a referral and said he would call the VA again if he doesn't hear anything soon.
I'm always analyzing H's behavior because I know he has this mental health issue, and he watches the kids all the time. I asked him after BD if I could trust him with the kids, and he actually walked out of the house without giving an answer. He hasn't really given me a good reason to think the kids aren't safe with him, but I'm trying to be vigilant.
Right now, H seems pretty happy and upbeat most of the time, but he's also keeping himself very busy. He's been rearranging the entire house and packing up my stuff as he comes across it. I've picked up on some clues that maybe he's not actually coping so well, but I just file them away in my memory bank and act positive around him.
We're getting along really well, and I've lost quite a bit of weight, but honestly, I don't even think that matters--I think the actual issue is his untreated PTSD. My mom recently confessed to me that H told her more than two years ago that he was contemplating divorce--she said he was already in tears about stuff that happened in Iraq when he was talking about it, and she never told me because she didn't want to upset me.
