... I know it goes against DB rules but when she was telling me this I just looked at her, touched her face, and told her that I didn't like seeing it but it didn't change the way I felt about her. She then said something along the lines that she is just so confused.
I'm trying to do a better job at detaching, just don't know how. I know what she is doing and where is she is at when she doesn't have the kids and it kills me, but I don't care, I can only still think about her and putting things back together. I know there was more under the surface then she told me but I can't but to think we would still be improving our relationship if the OM would have never entered the picture.
I know that I am only 4 months into her affair, that really isn't anything, but I know I have zero desire to give up standing for our marriage and for her. I'm sure I'm doing things wrong, but when she tells me she doesn't want me to put my life on hold for her, I tell her she's worth it. Probably dumb, I don't try to bring up R talks but when she says stuff like that I feel like I have to respond something. Feel like if I would act like I'm moving on it would make her feel less guilty and less conflicted about the situation and her decision. ...
You have a unique situation because you cheated, so you seem much more tolerant of her behavior... you also know the state of mind / emotions to be on the flip side.
Originally Posted by JC08
... She has changed so many of her values and morals, I hope these changes are permeant. I did the same, so I just want to believe it's part of the process. ...
Her values and morals changed for the better or worse? And do you actually mean permanent, or temporary?
