I know exactly what's going on. You've been a little anxious for the past month or three, haven't you? There's been something nagging you inside but you haven't been able to identify why you're feeling "off" on any given day. There's a reason you've been feeling that way; it's because she's not FWB. You're married dude! It's the old ball and chain. Holy f*ck knuckles Batman, now it all makes sense doesn't it?
Why can't you remember getting married? It's because of acute post marital dissociative amnesia disorder (PMDAD). PMDAD happens in one in fifty marriages. You see, you and the miss were out partying, imbibing alcohol, doin' a little reefer and maybe some molly and you were in love with everything including the FWB. You did what seemed logical at the time; you got married.
Now that the PMDAD is in full force, you don't remember the marriage and you're thinking with your joey. You think a little weekend excursion is going to get you some goody. H3ll no dude! You're married. It's gong to require a week long cruise, some jewelry and a new car before you get any more goody. That's the breaks, man. You might as well find her a boyfriend because you're in this for the long haul.
