Thanks DS9 I think sometimes it's hard to comprehend I know things were not great, I could have done a lot, lot more to make her feel loved and valued, I was very much stuck in a bad place, sure I had my resentments, sometimes I was mad at her, but I never comprehended stopping loving her or leaving. From an empathetic point of view her love must have died a long time ago, and now she is in full hate, anger and surviving abuse mode.
Now she has labelled me as a toxic abuser , as she is a childhood abuse survivor, I don't think those walls will ever come down.
