A year on and standing

[ToSmile]

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies and such. Actually at this point in time, my mentality is split between no longer cares / don’t know what other stuffs I can do about her actions. Thus I maintain my stand and would not allow her to verbally abuse me through retaliation / ignoring.

During week days, she doesn’t come back for dinner. Her mum ever told me that certain days, she actually went over to their place for dinner before she comes back. I do not wish to think too much into that and maybe her mum might be covering up for her. When her family call looking for her and she’s not around, her mum will call her up and question her whereabouts. I do not want to take the initiative to be a whistle blower and involves her family as I don’t think it lead to anywhere positive as well.

With regards to the weekend nights out, she does put up IG photos after the event but who knows she could have blocked me from some other photos as well. But I don’t want to be bothered with that.

For now I think I am conditioning myself to treat her like a stranger. Even during family events. Another one coming up this weekend that her brother invited me over to his birthday dinner and they were looking forward to the stuffs I cook as it is a pot luck session.

Her family does know I am very displeased with her and they are by my side as they claim. They witness how shot fused and manipulating she was when she was talking to me, the kids, and even to the extend of trying to manage her family members. A common feeling they shared was, she is a totally changed person.

With regards to our relationship status OB, we are still married and living in the same house. She mentioned she had got her lawyer to process the divorce papers in August and I have also standby my lawyer. But till date nothing. So she just live in and kinda taking this place like a hotel now. But one thing is, I no longer try to dissuade her from divorce unlike previously and told her that she can proceed and serves me the papers and I am waiting if stuffs got riled up.

I may not be ready to be the initiator now. But I would no longer say I will not be the initiator like I used to think. Thus for now, perhaps you are right I am on the detachment route.

LH, I am trying to get whatever information I can while reading here and apply. Such as telling her I will live better as per some old timer quoted here, talk only when she initiate the relationship talk and also setting my boundaries which I confronted her during her late night out without at least the courtesy of informing because I do not condone her to take this home like a hotel. With regards to OM/EA and stuffs, she mentioned there isn’t. I had made it clear to her if I come to know about it if there is one, that’s it. We will cut everything here with me initiating. But I do not know if there could be OW though as some of her friends whom she hangs out with has different gender preference and basically, I do not see anyone of her close back comes from a family orientated or full family background.

I have not gotten the DB book previously as there was no electronic version band I do not wish to let her see I am reading the book as we still lives together. But now I have ordered the book and perhaps just wrap up the cover so she would not access it.

Sorry if what I type above may not be too coherent. Nursing a gastric flu with the kids monkeying around me now and posting this via phone.