JWe finalised the custody agreement and financial settlement in writing, but nothing has been filed and he hasn't seen a lawyer. I have. He started paying child support, I have 100% physical custody of S1.5.
Speak to your L about formalising all this through a Consent Order asap. XH doesn't need a lawyer for a consent order to be filed and sealed. Speak to your L about the pros and cons of refinancing before you file a Consent Order. I assume you mean by this refinance the mortgage and payout XH. I would be very, very wary of carrying out any of the significant terms of your written agreement without a consent order being made first. Speak to yor L about nailing in the sole lives with for your S1.5 (and what about parental responsibility??). SPeak to your lawyer about checking ownership of home and severing the joint tenancy in the meantime if warranted. Check your Will and change your Will if warranted, and change beneficaries on your Super death benefit (indeed any other form of insurance) if warranted.
Originally Posted by scout12
and it's as though H is rejecting it all now at age 29.
A lot of men at age 29 are still like kids. Manchild is a term I've heard often.
Originally Posted by scout12
I get it now. He has to try this new life on for size. I have to let it happen without interference.
Exactly. But, if XH is blowing money on motorbikes, see my first para about speaking to your lawyer about doing the Orders etc as soon as you can. If he rides recklessly, all I'm going to say is make sure you and your S are legally secure by having everything formalised.
Originally Posted by scout12
- Finished off some backyard landscaping after four years' procrastination
[/quote
Haha nice one. Bunnings I imagine will be your new go to!
[quote=scout12]
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Love this message. Can you frame 2 and give one to my XW. Since my BD, I've often mused on just how much personal happiness at any cost has pervaded our culture. As humans though, we have evolved into beings who need community and companionship. We wouldn't have survived without it. The current ethos around personal happiness will, if it grows more momentum, take humanity into unchartred waters.
Keep up the great work Scout!
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
