She sent you a screenshot, it irked you. She will do a lot to rustle your feathers. Don't assume the worst, don't assume the best, just assume... nothing.
These situations are FULL of opportunities for you to be baited emotionally. Almost always the right thing to do is let it go.
Originally Posted by Augusto
So I've split my check, and made it smaller and smaller into the shared account. I've found that the more money she sees available in an account the more she spends, so I've been able to make the money last longer. I told her she can use it for kid expenses, minor expenses, like you describe. But yeah sometimes it runs very low (last yesterday) and she feels frustrated I know to have to ask me to fill it up. It's not my intention to frustrate or control her with it, but I know she perceives it in a negative way.
Last night when I used my own card for her gas, she texted me the amount when she was done. I didn't ask her for that, so that's an example.
I agree with CW that the way you guys are handling the money is likely to cause more frustration on both sides. You will be frustrated by her spending, she will be frustrated by the perception she has no control.
I don't have a solution for you, but your arrangement does seem like one that will generate lots of opportunities for conflict.
Regarding the text, I would consider next time cutting out a lot:
Originally Posted by Augusto
"Sorry for the confusion/delay. Like I mentioned I fell asleep after your text last night and after I came back from dropping kids wasn't feeling well and was in bed until I got to library. Not my intention to withhold that or make you feel bad in any way. As I've said before, assume the best, not the worst. Like you told me the other day, I tell you, you know me"
Only she can decide to start assuming the best in you. The more you explain/defend, the more you dig a hole.
