I replied I will pick son up from the house and return him after.
Good job!
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
Stupidly I replied " is there something I have done for us to stop co parenting and switch to parallel parenting?
With texts you can p-a-u-s-e, for hours if you need to, to come up with short, validating replies.
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
Me: I'm sorry you feel we can't co parent or navigate this amicably.
That's NOT what she said per the exchange above.
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
I have been trying hard to do everything you have asked through all this.
That would be accomplished by acknowledging her and looking at the app.
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
Her: I haven't asked anything from you! ( except for leaving the house, leaving our business, jumping whenever she needs a hand with the kids, 50/50 parenting from next week regardless of logistics or finances)
She's in 'alien mode' here. Good job not taking the bait!
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
Me: I would prefer we did this amicably, im sure I've made some mistakes In dealing with all of this, I don't wish you any Ill will and
Blah blah blah..
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
will look at the app"
Good job!
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
I feel like I've blown it, what the heck can I do next.
A week from now, she may say "I can't co-parent with him. It was a struggle just getting him to LOOK at a parenting app.." but a year from now she probably won't say "I couldn't reconcile with him. It took five texts to get him to look at a parenting app". That would sound downright silly!
It's hard to react perfectly to bad news. You didn't do terribly. Slow it down next time.
Today's unlikely to be the defining moment in your divorce, but resolve to do better. Review listening and validation. There are great books and a short "Empathy" video by Brene Brown to help.
Originally Posted by "JDevast"
5 mins later she's messaging about work related things.
'Alien mode' lol. It sounds like you'll have more opportunities to show you can listen and validate.
