Went out last night, met some new friends, trying hard to Gal and realising just how shut off and isolated I had become.
So, having a nice time but at same time my wives new friends were all there, the group who have all been supporting each other, confiding and going out together with their new single lives.
Everyone was civil and friendly on the face of it but definitely some awkwardness, know there's a shared narrative about me.
Anyway made the most of it , tried to show I was happy and smiling etc.
So obviously this would all of got back to my wife.
I texted her this morning to check in on preagreed plans for me to see the kids so she could spend the day with same friends.
Texts back were really cold, terse and impersonal I ran by wether kids would like to go out to lunch.
She responded I could do whatever I liked them
I let her know that I'd decided to go into work rather than attend my class in the morning but would see the kids at same pre arranged time.
This set off a chain of messages saying how unfair the situation was to her. That she wanted a plan in place immediately for me to have the kids 50% of term time.
I replied querying that we had previously agreed that kids would remain in family home and I would see them regularly and alternate weekend's until we sold house and could both buy somewhere.
(My flat is 1 bed so with a son and daughter we initially thought it would be too much upheaval for the kids with logistics of getting to school and sleeping arrangements etc.
She goes off, stating that that is my problem to sort out, that there is no family home, home is where the heart is
I asked if she wanted to sit down to discuss this and the seperation plan, let her know I could be as flexible as possible and was open to working something out.
I then got a stream of links to co parenting plans. That she wanted me to agree to one week on, one week off immediately and then she would be happy to talk things through
I responded I was open to finding a solution and that we would need to discuss logistics and the child benefits she is claiming as kids living with her ( Im renting at basically unmanageable expense to be able to feed and clothe the kids as well) I asked her if she had made plans for bonfire night this Tuesday.
She replied that she no longer wants to do anything together. That she wants stronger boundaries That she does not want me in her personal space or at the family home.
I validated
She continues accusing me of not doing enough ( again every time she has called short notice when there has been an issue I have jumped)
She seems 100% only concerned with ensuring she has this new single social life.
She drops the kids off, and again on seeing her my heart melts ,I kept things friendly but she seems really irked. I'm guessing by my going out.
I fully understand , i feel great jealousy whenever I think of her out having fun.
Rough day, part of me feels she is conflicted or she is just feeling a lot of hate and anger towards me.
Know I can't tell what she is thinking, feel sure she's going to spend the day with new friends consolidating how this seperation is the right thing to do.
