Hi DS - ha maybe it was balsa then - I'm not a DIY expert!
Her other issues were that I was too passive in the R - having said that, she lasted 8 years without really discussing that - I think the main issue for her was the duplicity: I'd be nice to her whilst continuing something bad in the background. The fact that it went on for years made her think that I wanted both lives and didn't care about her full stop.
Feeling a bit better today, despite the terrible rainy weather. It is hard not to let your mind churn things over from time to time though.
Me - 36, W - 32 No kids T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr Discovery - 14 May 2019 S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019 D & House sale final - Feb 2020